Home article How Can You Tell If Someone You Like Likes You Back

How Can You Tell If Someone You Like Likes You Back

How Can You Tell If Someone You Like Likes You Back

That’s the big question isn’t it? You like someone and you’d love to know if you have any chance with this person. But it’s hard to tell what he or she thinks of you. How can you find out?

Before we think of some strategies, let’s consider first the whole liking thing. People like others whom they know (of course!) and the better they know a person the more possible it is that they’ll feel some sort of bond or affection for them. So the way to develop the potential for being liked by a particular person is to spend more time with him or her, doing things that friends might do without trying to force the activities into things that boyfriends-and-girlfriends might do.

So help the person you like to like you back by working together on the same project, being part of the same club, riding the same school bus, and other, casual, incidental activities that give a friendship bond a chance to grow. There’s no need to jump right away into boyfriend-girlfriend activities like going to the movies or even to the mall. Keep it casual.

At the same time, don’t act like a stalker. Take advantage of opportunities to work together on something with the person you like without obsessing over ways to be near this person in everything he or she does. Let your person see you interacting with other people in the same group or activity, since that’s how he or she will find out how nice you are. Set out to develop a friendship instead of trying to snag a romantic partner.

Once you and your person have more time together, the answer to the question of whether he or she likes you might become obvious. If you enjoy each other’s company and have a good time doing whatever you’re doing, then your friend probably views you as a friend too and likes you. You’ll probably be able to tell.

If you want this friendship to develop into feelings with more romantic potential, then, once you and your friend are behaving like friends in mutual activities, ask him or her to do something with you that’s extra, like going to the library together or stopping by your locker to fetch something on your way out of school. If your friend agrees, then you’re moving closer to “like.”

You can then take things a step further, by asking your friend on a casual date, maybe going with you to a fun event where there will be lots of other people you both know. Again, if he or she accepts, then you can be more certain that the two of you are developing a bond.

When you feel comfortable asking, you can finally ask your friend if he or she likes you. Just ask. Wait until you and your friend have spent plenty of time together, doing things that you both care about or enjoy, and at least a basic friendship has developed. If your feelings for him or her are growing stronger, just ask if your friend feels the same way.

Try to avoid asking your other friends if this person likes you. How will they know if you don’t already? Avoid sending anonymous notes or searching your friend’s social media posts for clues. If you want to know if someone likes you and if you have good reason to believe that this is possible, from your prior good times together, then the sensible thing to do is ask.

Your friend – and you know by now that this person is a friend – will at least be flattered that you asked. If he or she likes you but doesn’t like you, romantically, that doesn’t need to destroy the ordinary friendship that you share. There’s no need for either of you to feel embarrassed by the question or embarrassed by a negative answer. And then you’ll know.

Start slowly. Keep things casual. Get to know the person you like in everyday situations. See what develops. You’ll enjoy yourself and you’ll meet lots of other great people at the same time.

Dr. Patricia Nan Anderson Dr. Patricia Anderson is a nationally acclaimed educational psychologist and the author of Parenting: A Field Guide. Dr. Anderson is on the Early Childhood faculty at Walden University and she is a Contributing Editor for Advantage4Parents. Learn more about Dr. Anderson at www.patricianananderson.com
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